You’ve never been with a woman? So how do you know?

Bi Week 2019, Day 2

I have had several cases where I have revealed that I’ve only gone so far as to kiss a woman, but have never slept with or dated any women. When monosexual people hear this, my whole sexuality comes into question.

I always find this a bit bizarre, especially when it comes from people within the LGBT+ community. Everyone in the community can state a moment where they “knew” that they weren’t straight. The person of the same sex that they “liked more than a friend” or the scene in a show or film that made them “feel something”. Many people come out at young ages, during high school, sometimes even younger.

Assuming that they haven’t had underaged sex, does that mean that these children’s sexuality isn’t valid? Because how can they know, right? This line of reasoning doesn’t make any sense to me. Sexuality isn’t based on who you have had sex with or your experiences. It is based on your desires, your attractions. If a man finds himself attracted to, desiring, wanting to kiss or have sex with a man, rather than a woman, he’s gay.

However, if that man has those desires for other men, but also women, non-binary, agender people and so on, he’s bisexual. Because he holds those desires, that pull of attraction, to more than one gender. It really isn’t much more complicated than that.