Bisexual? Doesn’t that mean you don’t like trans or non-binary people?

Bi Week 2019, Day 6

This is a discourse that I have come across a lot and is probably the most frustrating thing to deal with. This can often come from people within our community, telling us we need to change our label as it is discriminatory. They believe that bisexual means “attracted to both men and women” and see that as an issue, knowing that gender exists on a spectrum.

First, let’s make something clear. Trans men are men and trans women are women. So even with this very antiquated definition of what bisexual is, it still includes trans men and trans women. In fact, by saying that bisexual people are being transphobic, you are being transphobic yourself by drawing a line between cis and trans people, othering them.

Secondly, the definition often attributed to bisexual is “attracted to more than one gender”. Not at any point does this state how many genders or which genders. Therefore, the very definition of bisexual is not discriminating against non-binary people in any way. In fact, I know plenty of non-binary people who chose to use bisexual as their label.

The definition could potentially be updated somewhat to feel more inclusive of agender people, those who do not have a gender. But bisexual people do not discriminate against anyone, and that is the key takeaway.

Often people want us to use pansexual instead, since it is more inclusive with its definition: “attraction regardless of gender”. I am not opposed in any way in using the term pansexual or people calling me pansexual. But the point is, we shouldn’t have to use pansexual. I personally don’t use pan because I only learnt about pan after identifying as bi and didn’t see a reason to switch.

Pan and bi have a lot of overlap, but people often try to divide us into neat little boxes. They want clearly defined lines between the two, when there isn’t any. I know plenty of bi people who also use the word pan. I know people who use bi simply because it’s more well known. I know people who use pan because they like the fact that “pan” makes it clear to mean all. I know people who use bi because it has a wealth of history behind it (one of my reasons too).

There is no clear lines between the two, and there doesn’t has to be. People should be free to use the label that they’re comfortable with, for whatever reason they wish and no one should be defining it for them. At the end of the day, labels are what we make of them. We define them, they do not define us. And whilst people try and divide and conquer, bisexual and pansexual people stand in solidarity.